There’s no doubt you have a picture of the best home and family for your child. Adoption creates an opportunity to make that picture a reality, by providing you with an opportunity to select the family you want to give your baby.

The following questions will help spark other important issues that may be important to you in creating the best home and family for your child.  Some birth mothers report this act of choosing the family they give to their baby as the most hopeful part of the adoption process.

Questions you may want to ask a prospective couple or family:

• How long have you been married?
• What makes your marriage work?
• How many other children do you have, or plan to have?
• What led to your interest in adopting?
• Do you have any pets, and if so what kind?
• Where do you live, and is that close to the country, city, ocean, lakes, and what’s it like there? What is the community like?  What do you like most about the place where you live?
• Do you have plans to move?
• What is your denomination and what are your views on religion and Christianity?
• How much contact would you like to have with me?
• What is your educational background?
• What do you do for a living?
• Will both of you work after you adopt?
• What will make you excellent parents?
• Tell me about your extended family. How much contact you have with them?
• With whom will your child be spending the most time?
• What connections through family and friends do you have with adoption?
• What are your hobbies, interests, and dreams for the future?
• What type of education would you want for your child?
• Do you have a savings plan for your children’s college plans?
• How do you handle conflict?
• What are your beliefs about discipline?
• What kind of future do you see for your adopted child?

This is not an exhaustive list of questions, but it is a comprehensive set of questions to help you think through what might be important to you.  There are no right or wrong questions when it comes to your search for the perfect couple or family that you give to your baby.

How much can I find out about an adoptive family for my baby? 

Potential adoptive families provide profiles to look through with information on them, most of them have several pictures. Some couples even present their profile in the form of a scrapbook. This information may consist of the size of their family, where they live, what they do for a living, as well as other things such as how long they’ve been married, how they met, what their pets’ names are, and what their health history is. They can even include what their religious views are, and will most likely include some photos of them and their lifestyle.

You may also request an opportunity to meet, visit, and interview prospective adoptive couples or families.  This will give you an opportunity to learn almost whatever you want to know.  Communication is good because it often places both you as the birth mom and the adoptive couple at greater peace and ease.

What will the adoptive parents of my baby have to know about me? 

The adoptive parents will want to know all they can about you. They will probably be interested in your medical history, your healthcare, your age, and your interests. You may provide any additional information you would like them to have.  Healthy adoptions are full of communication and information that can be shared with the child as he or she grows and asks questions.

How do I know my baby will be safe with someone else? 

Adoption agencies set standards for adoptive parents, which gives assurance that the child placed in an adoptive home will be safe. You also have the option to choose a family by reading profiles, phone conversations, and even meeting the couple face to face to learn more about them.  Most birth mothers like to review and even interview adoptive prospects who they will choose to give to their baby.